After an exhausting seven months of polling, MTV and the Associated Press have finished a survey of America's youth. (Those aged 13-24, at least.) Turns out, kids are happy! Especially white kids, who apparently love their parents, believe in God, want to make gobs of money, and think technology "makes people happier." Half of them never turn off their cell phones. Just wait until you're WORKING with these freaks. You'll be the unhappy one! (P.S. Did you know MTV has "an esteemed research pedigree"? Yeah, us neither.) [MTV]