Displaying that she has almost figured out what it takes to be famous in America, Victoria Beckham showed up at the LA airport wearing a sweater that clearly showed the outline of her nipples. (Posh, what are you thinking? They aren’t going to let you on a plane when you’re smuggling those bombs.) For more pictures, head to X17 Online. Especially recently, Posh and David Beckham have been trying to convince Americans that they’re famous without actually doing anything to prove it. Posh, you were a Spice Girl a decade ago. The statute of celebrity limitations on that ran out last century. Getting some current scandalous pictures out there is a great way to try to reignite our interest, but we’re going to need a lot more. Next time you show us some spice, try to get the rest of that bothersome fabric out of the way. And maybe incorporate some jiggle. On video. While you’re having sex. That’s pretty much the only way you’re gonna crack the fame barrier in the States. Here’s the deal: Achieving fame in America is like making a deal with the devil, and you won’t even be able to read the contract unless you flash the high beams.

Shame on you, Mediaweek, for your indelicate and heavy-handed report on the success of Jane magazine's Breast Health Guide issue both in print and online. Did you really have to use so many played-out mammary puns? From the headline—"Jane's Boob Job Pumps Subs Online"—to the first paragraph— "Condé Nast's Jane is filling out its sub file with support from a spread on breasts in the May issue"—seriously, it's just so crass. "Online subs swelled"? Frankly, we're offended. Offended and titillated! Heh, we said 'tits,' sorta. Oh no, and now the floodgates are open and it's like our typing fingers are being controlled by the ghost of Russ Meyer! Swollen subs! Rock-hard nipples! Boobies! Jugs! Knockers! Hooters! MILKY FUNBAGS! OVERBLOWN TEATS SQUIRTING MILK INTO OUR GAPING MAWS! —Emily Jane's Boob Job Pumps Subs Online [MW]

Christine Keeler, the woman whose affairs with an English minister and a Soviet diplomat helped bring down a Tory government, later sought refuge in the arms of one of Britain's most celebrated film critics.Shortly after the resignation of John Profumo, the Secretary of State for War and the suicide of society osteopath, Stephen Ward, in 1963, Keeler began dating the then fledgling Guardian journalist, Derek Malcolm.

Nothing to add, except that you should probably be on the lookout for Monica Lewinsky and Anthony Lane snuggled up at Aix Brasserie this weekend, as nothing makes sense anymore. —balk I had an affair with Christine Keeler, film critic reveals [Independent] [Image via]

It seems like every day brings with it a new picture of a post-rehab Britney Spears wearing her now trademark Wig & Hat disguise (several commenters have asked the obvious question of why she insists upon wearing both - we have no idea) and cowboy boots, but some of these pictures are better and classier than others.

Millions of Americans are crowding around the TV or at least occasionally glancing up from their mugs at the bar to check out the NFL Draft today. Although this seven-round yawnfest mostly features at best reluctant teams picking talent that seems the least likely to implode under animal-abuse charges, colossal fan expectations, and the cold-hearted business features of the NFL, there's occasionally reason to watch. Take, for instance, hunky first rounder Brady Quinn of Notre Dame, who has sports fans licking the hot sauce and blue cheese from their chops every time he drops another position. According to sources who actually have cable, ESPN's cameras are zoning in on the uncomfortable Quinn, who is doing such things as adjusting his tie, loosening his tie, and playing with his tie in nervous anticipation. The thick/pretty piece of manmeat is jittering like an Eskimo without a parka, and the colossal plummet is schadenfreudelicious! Tune in, at least until some unlucky GM makes the mistake of drafting dude. ESPN draft commentator Tony Kornheiser: "Somebody please pick this kid!" Still no pick at 12th, with the Bills on the clock. Tune in yourself to see how old Quinn is when he actually gets drafted!—LEON, WITH THE BOY TAYLOR IN TACOMA ESPN's Coverage of the NFL Draft [ESPN]

Why have I waited this one out? Because I wanted to make sure I was able to give you guys as much accurate info as possible, so, here we go. I can officially confirm that Britney Spears is in fact going to tour in less than one week at three House of Blues locations in Southern California. I can confirm that this has been an idea that has been in the works many months before Britney entered rehab, but was delayed due to her stint there. The purpose of the tour is for Britney to reconnect with her fans and I am hearing unconfirmed rumors that Britney will have a Q&A with her fans at the end of each show. The show will feature brand new songs from her new album as well as old hits.Fans….you see the “Buy Tickets” link below? Yeah….you will want to hurry. After this update I’m making, I’m sure these tix will sell out quickly. May 1st 8 PM - House of Blues - San Diego - Buy Tickets May 2nd 8 PM - House of Blues - Anaheim - Buy Tickets May 3rd 8 PM - House of Blues - The Sunset Strip - Buy Tickets Tickets are $35 and they are General Admission - Alias is M+M’s.

We said goodbye—for now!—to Rosie O'Donnell.

We did a dramatic video reenactment of a very important pundit-intellectual catfight.

We met our new Kat.

We hung out with the senior citizenry at the Paris Review Revel.

We Undermined you by getting engaged to Josh "Indiana Jewnes" Bernstein.

We were taken to task by an angry professor.

We celebrated the most influential magazine of our lady-time: Sassy.

We got a little oversensitive and lashed out at you.

We strapped on our straightjacket and blended right in at the Times' annual shareholders' meeting.